


Sad

by LordofLezzies



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Past Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25429186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordofLezzies/pseuds/LordofLezzies
Summary: Addison is a survivor. She has overcome drug addiction and a relapse, but when her mother in law becomes ill and her wife is forced to relocate to the other side of the country every day is a challenge.
Relationships: Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery
Comments: 16
Kudos: 48





	1. Sad

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so this idea has not left me alone, and it isn't the kind of thing I would usually write. I have a vague idea of how things are going to play out though. The song at the beginning is Sad by Maroon 5
> 
> I hope you enjoy

_Oh but I’m scared to death_

_That there may not be another one like this_

_And I confess that I’m only holding on by a thin, thin thread_

_I’m kicking the curb cuz you never heard_

_The words that you needed so bad_

_And I’m kicking the dirt cuz I never gave you_

_The things that you needed to have_

_I’m so sad_

“The one time I need you to do something for me.” The words had been hanging in the air for the last two months, though the speaker was now on the other side of the country.

It wasn’t fair. Addison recognized that as she sat in her empty kitchen. She was alone and she deserved it. Ellis Grey was sick and while the woman had left a lot to be desired as a mother, Meredith needed to go to Seattle, she needed Addison too, but as with most of their relationship Addison had let her down. Addison needed to finish her fellowship, a fellowship that would have been finished if she hadn’t spent a year in rehab, self-depreciating comments would only make the situation worse though.

Meredith had been with her through everything. Addison had been so high the night of their first date that she had forgotten she’d even asked Meredith out. She shook her head, trying not to dwell on the lowest points of her life. Meredith had been the first person that really wanted to help her clean her life up. She wasn’t judgmental and she hadn’t treated Addison as if she were a lost cause. Meredith had stayed with her, she’d asked what Addison had taken, and she didn’t know. It had been something Amelia had left behind.

Addie thought that Amelia Shepherd was the love of her life, and then it was over. Addison had been a wreck. Amelia had been hurt and everything that happened was a blur, but back then Addison had been sure that she was the love of her life. Looking back on it though they probably would have killed each other before either of them even finished medical school. They weren’t good for each other, but Amelia had been the first person that didn’t judge her the way everyone else had.

Meredith came into her life though and she had listened and helped her get clean, and despite a major relapse following her intern year Addison had remained clean. That didn’t mean that she hadn’t put Meredith through literal hell though. When they had met Meredith was a pre-med student at Dartmouth and Addison was in medical school at Columbia. They’d met during spring break, and while Meredith wanted to help Addison she had to go back to school, and Addison didn’t get help right away.

During finals week she had called Meredith at 3 in the morning and said, “I need help Meredith.” The blonde had gotten out of bed on a Sunday morning and driven to New York for Addison. Meredith had cleaned her apartment and Addison had quite the stash of Adderall and cocaine. Hell Meredith had found drugs Addison had forgotten about. The pressure to be successful had gotten worse as she continued through medical school and Addison felt like she needed to constantly be alert. If she was the best she could be above everything that had ever brought her down. She had kept striving to be the best and the drugs she’d taken to help get her to the top had only held her back.

Meredith Grey-Montgomery was hands down the best thing to ever happen to her and she was fucking it up. She should be in Seattle with her wife and her mother-in-law who might actually be Satan, but she was alone in their New York kitchen stewing because there was no fellowship opportunity in Seattle. She needed to finish her fellowship in New York and Meredith needed to be closer to the facility where her mother was staying. It wasn’t fair. She couldn’t continue to stew though, because she knew from experience that she’d likely do something she would regret, and she had already fired her personal trainer earlier in the week. The ringing of her phone interrupted her thoughts. She reached for it and saw a Seattle area code, it wasn’t her wife calling though.

“Hello?” Addison answered.

“Addie?” She recognized the voice immediately it was Richard Webber. “Any chance I could lure you to Seattle for a case?” He asked. She allowed him to brief her on the patient and she agreed. “Meredith will be thrilled to see you,” he said once she’d agreed.

“I’ll have to give her a call,” Addison responded before they disconnected. She and Meredith had spoken since their separation, but it was so hard for them to be apart, and disconnecting was always a challenge. Their conversations had become infrequent, because hanging up and knowing they’d each go back to being alone hurt. Addison remembered their first conversation after Meredith started at Seattle Grace.

_“This guy who was hitting on me at Joe’s last night works here,” Meredith groaned, “And apparently “women wear wedding rings when they’re not really married to attract men at bars” I don’t understand this guy. I’ve explained to him 4 times already that I’m married and not interested,” Meredith huffed._

_“I’ll come out there and kill him,” Addison deadpanned and Meredith laughed._

_“Sweetie, orange is not a good color on you,” Meredith would know, she had bailed Addison out of jail on more than one occasion. “Anyway he thinks I’m playing hard to get because women do that, and I don’t know how this man got through medical school if he literally cannot comprehend a flat out rejection, and I don’t know if I want to laugh at him or break his nose.”_

_“Why not both?” Addison asked and Meredith laughed. “How is the witch?”_

_“She thought I’d “finally come to my senses” and left you when she was semi-lucid during my breakfast visit the other day. I gave myself a nasty cardboard cut unpacking boxes so I wasn’t wearing my ring,” Meredith explained. “The least she could do is forget how much she hates you.”_

_“You married a drug addict Mer, that’s not a mother’s top choice.”_

_“Remember when the self-depreciating comments were a turn-on?” Meredith snarked, “oh right they’re not. She hates you because I love you.”_

_“It’s not self-depreciating Mer, I am a drug addict, and while I’m sure you’re right about the constant challenge to things you love, that is at least part of the reason why she hates me, you would have finished school sooner if it wasn’t for me.”_

_“I could be a fourth year resident instead of a third year, that’s all Addie, please stop beating yourself up.”_

_“I just hate that I’m not with you right now. Even if the witch hates me, you have always been there for me, and you need me right now and I’m not there when I should be and,” she trailed off. “I miss you Mer, and I hate feeling helpless, I,” she trailed off not wanting to upset Meredith. “I hired a personal trainer,” she said instead. “I think that should keep me occupied while we’re apart.”_

_“That’s good isn’t it?” Meredith asked._

_“I suppose it is. This should be a healthy habit, besides you’ve been gone for 10 days and I’ve already spent a small fortune on coffee.” Addison had a history of coffee maker related incidents and they’d had an agreement that Meredith would make coffee and Addison would make breakfast, and forming new habits was proving difficult so Addison bought $6 lattes every morning. Meredith laughed._

_“I miss your omelets and blueberry pancakes,” Meredith confessed._

When they had disconnected Addison remembered feeling miserable. It was a difficult situation and they had come up with the best solution, but no matter how many times Meredith told her that they would get through this, she felt like she had let the love of her life get away. Three thousand miles away.

_If_ they made it through a year apart things wouldn’t be the same, Meredith could realize that she was better off without her and Addison looked at her wrist. There was a thin white scar there. Addison had been alone the night before her boards and Meredith had been at home preparing for her intern exam and Addison had been so desperate. She had sliced her wrist and watched the blood flow freely down her hand. There was something about it that she found calming or distracting. She had purposely cut herself a few times when she really wanted drugs and she thought about it again.

What if the doctor hitting on Meredith ended up making her happy? Meredith would be better off without her. The negative thoughts were taking control again and Addison couldn’t call her. Meredith would worry.

“Meredith would worry,” she repeated the words out-loud to herself, and then “Meredith will be thrilled to see you.” Richard had said. Her hands were shaking and she turned her hand so she would not be faced with the scar. “You’re being ridiculous,” Addison said to herself. The situation with Jessica, her former personal trainer had freaked her out a bit and maybe that was why she was on edge. She reached for her phone and dialed Meredith’s number.

“Is everything alright?” Were the first words out of Meredith’s mouth.

“I think so,” Addison answered. “Are you alright?” Addie asked.

“Yeah, I mean it’s just you’re calling while I’m at work and usually you don’t call right now so I just thought something was wrong.”

“Richard called and said something about a TTTS patient, I’ll be there tomorrow night,” Addie could hear her wife smiling.

“You’ll be here tomorrow night?” She asked excitedly and Addison nodded even if Mer couldn’t see her. “Oh that’s my patient, we get to work together again. How long are you staying? I have to do laundry, oh and you’ll have to meet Alex,” Meredith rambled on and Addison found herself smiling at her wife’s antics. “I miss you,” Meredith finally said. “You’ll have to come visit “the witch” with me while you’re here.”

“I think I can do that,” Addison laughed. “I can’t wait to see you Mer. I’ll have to let you get back to work. I have to book a flight and make arrangements with work.” The line was blissfully silent and then Addison said “I love you Meredith.”

“I love you too Addie, I’ll see you tomorrow night, let me know when you have your flight details.” They disconnected and this time Addison didn’t feel so sad, because she was going to see her wife.


	2. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Addison arrives in Seattle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song at the beginning of the chapter is Broken by lovelytheband
> 
> Special shout out to Addiesbaby whose comment pushed me to write this chapter.
> 
> I hope you enjoy

_Life is not a love song, that we like_

_We’re all broken pieces, floating by_

_Life is not a love song, we can try_

_To fix our broken pieces one at a time_

She was sitting in the lobby waiting for Meredith and she heard her before she saw her.

“She’s waiting for me in the lobby, my wife, the actual human woman who exists,” Meredith said. “I know you didn’t believe me the first 8,000 times I told you, but I’m not sure if facts can penetrate through all of your hair product and reach your brain,” Meredith continued and Addison grinned.

“Meredith,” Addison stood up as her wife rushed over and hugged her. “I’ve missed you so much,” Addie whispered as she embraced her wife. When they pulled apart she saw Derek Shepherd standing there.

“This, you married this, this degenerate drug addict?” He practically shouted, and Meredith stepped in front of her. She was trying to shield Addie like she always did, but Addison didn’t need protection from Derek Shepherd.

“This is the asshole that’s been harassing you Mer?” She asked with a chuckle. Meredith nodded and Addison couldn’t help but laugh. “How is your sister Derek? Oh that’s right, if you made an effort someone might claim your title of World’s Worst Brother.”

“I take it you two know each other then,” Meredith sighed. Suddenly Addison felt guilty about her outburst, but when Derek spoke she was ready to strike.

“Yeah the crackhead and I know each other, I’m surprised you have a medical license Addison, I guess money really can fix anything.”

“I’m going to kill him,” she hissed and Meredith put her arm out and she froze.

“He’s not worth it, besides I have other plans for you tonight,” she whispered. “Derek,” Meredith said tersely, “enjoy your hand tonight, since we both know that’s the only action you’ll be seeing.” He turned red and Addison found herself grinning as he stormed off. “Come on Addie, I want food,” she leaned forward and bopped Addison on the nose with her index finger, “and you.” Addison smiled as Meredith took her hand and led her outside. The blonde opened her umbrella and they walked hand in hand to Meredith’s car.

They stopped for some take away on their way home, and Addison was happy to be sitting in the kitchen eating cheeseburgers with her wife. Her wife who had practically inhaled her burger and was trying to steal Addison’s fries.

“Are you alright?” Addison asked as Meredith shoveled french fries into her mouth.

“Hungry,” Meredith grunted as she chewed. “Didn’t eat lunch,” she mumbled as she swallowed. “Tried to give blood yesterday, my iron is low,” she added before drinking her sprite. “I haven’t been eating right, or at all sometimes,” Addison made a face at that and Meredith quickly reached out to squeeze her hand. “It’s just like how you’re spending $6 on coffee every morning Addie,” Meredith added.

“How did you know that?” Addison asked immediately.

“Well you said you were spending a small fortune on coffee, and when I looked at the credit card statement there were 20 charges for $6.08 for the cafe by the hospital.”

“So you were checking up on me?” Addison asked defensively pulling her hand from Meredith’s in the process.

“No,” Meredith responded. “Alex and I, we,” she stumbled. “We were working a case together in pediatrics, we lost a kid, he was four Addie, four year olds shouldn’t suffer like that.” Meredith’s eyes were watering and Addison hated seeing her so broken up. “I wasn’t sure what the tab was when we closed it, so I checked the statement.” She sniffled and swiped at her eyes. “I figured you broke the coffee maker again anyway, and I think it’s cute that you always tip the barista $1, and you always pay for your coffee between 6:20-6:45, and I know your routine. Knowing your routine makes being apart hurt a little less.”

“Oh Mer, you know I miss you too, I hate this, I hate being apart,” she said as she reached out for her wife and squeezed her shoulder. “Let me make you something since clearly you’re still hungry.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Meredith said as Addison had gone for the refrigerator door.

“Is that your way of telling me the fridge is littered with half eaten take out containers?” Addison asked before pulling the door open. “Holy shit!” She exclaimed as she stared into a well organized refrigerator. She could see vegetables in the crisper along with some bagged salad mix, lunch meat and cheese in the drawer, a six pack of some beer she’d never heard of, and packaged chicken breasts.

“I sent Alex to the store,” Meredith said, answering her unasked question.

“And when am I going to meet Alex?” Addison asked as she closed the door to the refrigerator and sat back down next to her wife.

“Probably tomorrow at work, he’s on call tonight, you’ll like him though,” Meredith said softly.

“So did you have nefarious plans for the evening, or did you just get lucky?” Addison asked and Mer smiled.

“I have a couple of bath bombs, I was hoping we could get a bath, maybe you could wash my hair, and then I can enjoy having my big spoon for a few days,” Meredith yawned and Addison smiled.

“That’s all you had planned?” Addison whispered into Meredith’s ear and the blonde yawned again and nodded. They stood up and threw away their trash from dinner and Meredith took Addison’s hand and led her up the stairs. Meredith filled the bathtub while Addison unpacked a few things from her suitcase. The redhead was closing one of the dresser drawers when Meredith slipped out of the master bathroom in a fluffy blue robe and grabbed Addison’s hand.

Addison undressed while her wife slipped out of her robe and hung it up on a hook on the back of the bathroom door. They both stood there, naked and Meredith closed the distance between them before leaning in and kissing her softly. Her arms wrapped around Addie’s neck and she smiled softly when they pulled apart.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Meredith whispered.

“I’ve missed you too,” Addie murmured. They stood there a moment longer before stepping into the warm bath water. Meredith situated herself in front of Addison and just leaned into her, relaxing in her warm embrace. The redhead washed her wife’s hair just as she had requested and they stayed in the bathtub until the water became cold. Addison wrapped her hair up in a towel and Meredith did the same. The blonde pulled on a pair of sweatpants that Addison didn’t recognize that said Bulldogs on the left leg and her Dartmouth shirt while Addie slipped into a pair of green silk pajamas.

“When did you get those?” Addison asked as they slid into bed.

“Oh, I think they’re Alex’s they were in with my laundry,” Meredith answered with a shrug and Addison made a face.

“And there's nothing going on with you and Alex?” Addison asked. Meredith made a face.

“His wife left him a few months ago, we’re just friends, I love you,” Meredith said as she scooted closer to her wife. Addison leaned into her and unraveled the towel the covered her wife’s wet hair and ran her fingers through blonde locks. “Addie,” Meredith groaned and the redhead slipped her hand under the Dartmouth shirt. “Addie stop,” Mer snapped. Addison pulled back and looked back at Meredith.

“I thought that,” Addison started, but Meredith placed a single finger on her lips effectively silencing her.

“I know what you thought.” Her words were firm and she was silent for a moment after she said them. “I need for you to not, just don’t think like that. I don’t want Alex or Derek or anyone else,” she whimpered. “You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, you know I never want to make you uncomfortable,” Meredith said softly.

“You’re wearing someone else’s pants Meredith,” she practically hissed in response. “What am I supposed to think? Maybe you want someone who isn’t sexually broken, or,” Meredith cut her off.

“Broken? The only broken thing I hear is a broken record. That’s what you sound like, so just stop!” She shouted. “These,” Meredith said grabbing the leg of the charcoal gray sweatpants, “were in the bottom of the laundry basket when I took my clothes out of the dryer. And you know how I feel about too long sweatpants that cover my toes. I don’t want sex tonight, and I can’t with you right now!” She yelled. Her eyes squeezed shut and Addison watched her wife take a few deep breaths. When she spoke again it was with a calmer tone.

“I know that you need reassuring Addison, because I know you, and I love you, but I need you to believe me when I tell you there is nothing going on with Alex, he is just a friend. There is nothing for you to worry about. I just need you to be my big spoon,” she sobbed. “I just want you to hold me, because everything is so hard right now, and I need you.” Addison immediately reached out to pull her wife closer, and she rubbed her back as she sobbed into her shoulder.

Meredith was hysterical and Addison held her close and tried to soothe her wife as she mumbled, “she doesn’t even know who I am.” Addison shifted so that she was lying down with Meredith on top of her. Meredith had mumbled about Ellis calling her a disappointment, and Addison stroked her wet hair and rubbed comforting circles along her back until sleep took her. It was so strange to have Meredith break down on her like this. Things had always been the other way around in their relationship.

Addison couldn’t help but feel worse about their separation than she already did as she held her sleeping wife. There was nothing really that they could do about the distance, but in that moment Addison felt her insecurities fall away. Meredith wanted her. She needed Addison in a way she never had before, and something about the way Meredith had broken down on her was comforting. She closed her eyes and let her fingers continue dancing through damp blonde hair until she too fell asleep.


	3. Found Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meredith and Addison operate and Addison meets Alex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song at the beginning is You Found Me by the Fray

_The only one whose ever known_

_Who I am, who I’m not, who I wanna be_

_No way to know_

_How long she will be next to me_

Meredith lead her to their patient the next morning. She smiled at the expectant mother as Meredith introduced her.

“Julie, this is Dr. Addison Montgomery-Grey.” Julie looked surprised.

“Are you two?”

“Married,” Addison immediately answered with a smile and the pregnant woman froze. Meredith was better at this than she was. They had dealt with a few patients in the past who had been unhappy about their relationship, and Meredith took it in stride, but Addison took the perceived rejection personally. When Julie spoke again though it wasn’t what Addison expected.

“But I thought, you flew in from New York, I just, I don’t know if I want unhappily married people cutting me open together.” And Addison laughed, snorted actually and Meredith rolled her eyes at her before taking Julie’s hand.

“She made me blueberry pancakes this morning, I assure you we are happily married, no worries,” Meredith said offering a reassuring smile that Julie returned. “She’s stuck in a contract for a few more months in New York, and I, I moved out here because of a family emergency, the separation isn’t permanent.” The woman’s mouth formed an O as she processed Meredith’s words and then she smiled.

“Oh, that’s actually reassuring,” she said and it was Addison’s turn to smile.

“Dr. Grey is going to run a few labs, and we’ll take things from there, I’d like to have you scheduled for surgery early tomorrow morning,” Addison said softly, before departing with Meredith to request specific labs. Meredith was busy and Addison technically only had the one patient, so she took the time to explore the hospital. She would be working here permanently once she finished her fellowship in New York. Richard had offered her a job the moment Meredith started here.

In a few short months she would be walking the halls of Seattle Grace as the head of her own department. She smiled at the thought. She had come a long way, and Richard had really been a great mentor to her when she was a resident struggling with addiction and recovery. It would mean a lot to her to work for him. He was also one of the only people that knew of Ellis Grey’s condition. Addison was aware of the affair he’d had with the witch. It was one of the things that had factored into his struggles with alcohol. She was also aware that he’d only shared that piece of information in an attempt to get her to open up, but some things were too traumatic to rehash. Addison was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn’t see her wife approach with lab results.

“Hey, I think you should see these,” Meredith said as she thrust lab results into her hands. While Addison scanned the results Meredith said, “I’ll go book an OR.” Addison nodded in response before making her way to their patient’s room.

The surgery was a success and Meredith was grinning at her as they scrubbed out.

“I’ve missed this, you, me, surgery,” Meredith teased.

“I’ve missed it too, just a few more months Mer, and we’ll be operating together on a regular basis.”

“I know, it’s just,” she mumbled.

“Hard, I know,” Addison whispered as she dried her hands. “When are we visiting the satanic witch?” Addison asked causing Meredith to laugh.

“You say things like that and you wonder why she hates you,” Mer snorted.

“Hey, I’ve always had enough decency not to say things like that to her face,” Addison grinned and Meredith gripped onto the sink as she doubled over with laughter.

“You’ll really go with me?” Meredith asked once her laughter had subsided, and Addison nodded.

“How many times have you endured unpleasant trips for me?” Addison asked as they walked out onto the surgical floor. “Actually don’t answer that.”

“You owe me for that last performance of the _Nutcracker_ ,” Meredith rolled her eyes. She absolutely detested the ballet and yet, she had gone with her wife with minimal protest. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to go though,” Meredith added. She smiled at her wife. The blonde was always so considerate of her and her feelings and it was touching, no one else in her life had ever shown her such consideration.

“I’d go to the moon for you Mer.” The pair were too busy grinning at one another to notice that Dr. Shepherd was standing at the nurse’s station glaring at them. He was relatively low on their list of priorities though as Meredith went to monitor Julie in post-op while Addison went to get them some coffee.

The moment Addison returned to the surgical floor she was confronted with Derek Shepherd’s presence. Meredith was in with Julie and when they made eye contact through the glass window, Addison froze. Derek was talking to Richard, if Richard wasn’t his boss, he would have been yelling.

“I can’t believe you would request that degenerate, you know she’s a drug addict, she shouldn’t even have her medical license.” He argued, and everyone was looking at her, as Derek was far from quiet.

“Who I request for a consult is really none of your concern Shepherd,” Richard said with a sense of finality that was lost on Derek.

“When it is _her_ ,” he emphasized, “it is my business, what she did to my sister,” he continued arguing.

“Enough,” Richard cut him off before he could embarrass her further. She blinked back tears and bolted. Meredith would be working late tonight, and Addison could let herself into the house, maybe she’d meet the roommate. She just wanted to be alone. _So much for the fresh start in Seattle_ , she thought as she slammed her fist against the steering wheel of her rental car, before heading back to the house.

* * *

“So what’s the deal with you and Shepherd?” Alex asked as he popped the top off of his beer. Addison chuckled in response as she poured herself a glass of wine. “I’m not a gossip or anything, I just can’t stand him, and judging by the rumors, I’d say you probably hate him too,” Alex added. They were alone in the kitchen as Meredith was still at work.

“We went to medical school together,” she said simply, not sure if she should elaborate. He shot her a look and she rolled her eyes in response. “It was before I met Meredith, he asked me out, I said no.”

“And what he’s still mad about it? I mean the guy has an ego, but I can’t believe he wouldn’t have moved on from that.”

“I was involved with his younger sister at the time,” Addison added.

“When you say involved with?” Alex asked as if it wasn’t clear what she meant.

“What has Meredith told you about me?” She bit back.

“Look Red, you have a good one, take it from someone who just got a divorce, your wife isn’t talking shit about you,” he responded.

“That wasn’t what I meant,” Addison said a moment later.

“Look when she said you were coming out here, Mer told me to go to the grocery store so you didn’t think we were living like bachelors on take out and not to piss you off or I’d be out on my ass. My wife left me four months ago and Mer offered me a place to stay so I’m not trying to fuck that up, so just say what you mean.” Addison was taken aback by his change in tone and was momentarily speechless which Alex took to mean she wasn’t going to answer. “Did she tell me you were a drug addict? That’s what you mean right?” He asked and Addison simply nodded. “Yeah, she mentioned you had a drug problem, recovering addict and all. I guess Shepherd got under your skin.”

“I was seeing his sister when he asked me out,” Addison finally said. “I told her he’d asked me out, and she laughed and suggested we have sex in his car, which she later totaled, while high, which Derek blames me for,” she finished and Alex smirked.

“Alright doing his sister in his car, that’s good,” Alex laughed and Addison found his laughter infectious.

“I told you that you’d like Alex,” Meredith said as she walked into the kitchen.

“It’s nice to have someone else around here that doesn’t worship the ego maniac Shepherd,” Alex commented and the three of them laughed. “Working with him for the last 3 years has been aggravating, and the fact that he thinks he’s god’s gift,” Alex rolled his eyes and Addison laughed.

“I know right, he was so insulted when I turned him down, like how dare I,” Addison laughed. “He doesn’t even know I had sex with his sister in his car.” It was Meredith’s turn to roll her eyes.

“Enough about your ex-girlfriend,” Meredith groaned. “It’s a good thing you didn’t marry her, he’d be your brother in law,” Addison snorted at that.

“Perhaps I lucked out just having the witch as my mother in law,” Addison chuckled and Meredith offered a weak smile in response, before sitting next to Addie and squeezing her hand.

“Rough night?” Addie asked. Meredith nodded and laid her head on Addison’s shoulder.

“Bailey and I lost a patient,” she sighed. “Sixteen,” she added with a huff before swiping Addison’s wine. “Julie is doing great though,” Meredith added after taking a large gulp and finishing off her wife’s drink.

“That’s good,” Addison whispered, reaching out to squeeze her wife’s hand. “Are you hungry?” Meredith nodded. “How about I make you something while you get cleaned up, does that sound good?” Addison asked.

“Yeah,” Meredith mumbled before dragging herself upstairs.Addison rummaged through the refrigerator and decided she’d make a salad, and she went about boiling eggs and preparing some of the chicken that was in the refrigerator.

“Wait, you cook?” Alex asked to which Addison simply nodded.

“Can you pour me some more wine Alex?” She asked as she opened and closed cabinets in search of a cutting board for the chicken. He nodded and did as she asked. “I’m not a gourmet chef or anything, but Meredith was raised on deli sandwiches, I can’t trust her to be patient enough to cook anything when she’s hungry.” Alex chuckled.

“She burnt scrambled eggs last week,” Alex said and Addison couldn’t help but laugh. “She does make a mean cup of coffee though,” Alex added.

“I know, she took a job as a barista while I was in rehab the second time, I think she found it therapeutic.” Silence fell over the kitchen as the eggs boiled and Addison trimmed the fat off of the chicken breasts. Alex watched as she chopped vegetables, “this is therapeutic for me,” she said, breaking the silence.

“You two seem to have a good relationship, despite the distance,” he sighed. “If you want some alone time, I don’t have to stay, I can crash at the hospital or,” she cut him off.

“Don’t, you live here, stay,” Addison said offhandedly.

“Really, it’s not a big deal, I mean you’re only here for a few days, I’d understand if you wanted to be _alone,_ ” Alex emphasized the word alone, and Addison ignored the word and focused on the pepper she was slicing up. “Addison?” Her name was a question on his lips and stopped slicing the pepper, placing the knife down on the cutting board, and she turned around to face him.

“That’s not necessary Alex.” Her words were soft. “Thoughtful, but unnecessary,” she repeated and he looked back at her clearly confused. “Our relationship isn’t like that,” Addison answered, and if possible Alex looked even more confounded. “I,” she started and stopped, this was harder than admitting that she was a drug addict, drugs people understood, her outlook on sex, well that was alien to most people. “I’m asexual.” The word wasn’t a perfect fit for her feelings, but it was the most relatable identifier.

“But you’ve had sex?” It was both a statement and a question, but Addison only nodded in response.

“Yes,” she answered. “It’s,” she started and stopped. She was grappling with the right words, this was always difficult, and frustrating, but Alex sensed her dilemma.

“Not black and white?” He offered and she nodded. “Fair enough,” he shrugged, leaving it at that. Meredith appeared a minute later, wearing her Dartmouth shirt and a pair of Addison’s flannel pajama pants.

“Smells delicious,” Meredith said as she came over and kissed Addison’s cheek. “I told you she would feed us,” Mer added with a smile as she punched Alex’s shoulder.

“As long as you’re not cooking, we’re safe,” he teased and Meredith’s expression was one of mock offense, and Addison grinned to herself. Being here with Meredith and her new friend/roommate was nice. Watching them interact in the kitchen was comforting in a way Addison hadn’t expected. The distance between Meredith and herself was unbearable most times, but knowing that her wife had someone like Alex, it was a relief. Even though it would be a few months until Addison could move to Seattle, she already felt like she was home.


End file.
